This Time Last Year

I’m officially in trouble. For a whole week now, I’ve been fighting the desire to have another baby. I know, already!

It doesn’t help that exactly a year ago today, we announced that we were pregnant.

G has difficult days, sure, every baby does. I think that it’s sometimes easy for Moms to feel like “their kid” is the exception, the super difficult high maintenance one, but I just don’t get that. ALL babies teeth. ALL babies have some difficulty taking naps or sleeping through the night.Β For me, knowing it’s something that everyone goes through makes me feel better, especially on nights where his teeth/gums hurt so bad he screams for a few hours.

So, what I’m trying to say is that this desire for another baby does NOT come from thinking that “this whole baby thing is so easy now!”. Quite the opposite– lately, I’ve felt quite incompetent and behind.

But I love it. I love being G’s mom. And I can already tell that I have way too much love for just one baby. If we keep going at this rate, he’ll be spoiled rotten!

As I dream about a potential future, the day when we ACTUALLY get to settle down somewhere, the day when I get to start homeschooling them (perhaps), I picture more than one kid. More than two. Possibly, more than three. I want a house full of them, even though I know that will come with more than the fair share of crazy messes, accidents and imperfections.

Luckily for Jesse (who’s still not used to having the ONE kid), I still haven’t gotten back the ability to get pregnant, if you know what I mean. Like I said before, though, it’s been nearly a year and a half since I’ve had a period!Β Apparently, this is pretty common for moms who are breastfeeding exclusively around the clock. It’s a good reminder that children are a gift, not a right. I don’t get to decide when the next kid shows up– God does.

So, until then, I will just live vicariously through all of my friends who are having babies. I am on facebook/blog watch for at least 3 right now. Our good friend, Katie Gaspard just had her beautiful baby girl, Victoria Margaret, a little under two weeks ago, so that’s one down.

Now, it’s time to go tend to my “screaming bundle of joy” who just WILL NOT take his afternoon nap!! πŸ™‚

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2 thoughts on “This Time Last Year

  1. Kelly, I mean this in the kindest way possible, but it’s really hurtful when you say “I think that it’s sometimes easy for Moms to feel like β€œtheir kid” is the exception, the super difficult high maintenance one, but I just don’t get that.”

    Because sometimes, your baby IS the exception. Not everyone is as lucky as you are – to be able to get pregnant when you want to; to be able to have an uneventful, healthy low-risk pregnancy; to get to have a natural vaginal birth at a birth center, with a midwife; to have a healthy full-term baby with no chronic health condition.

    Yes, parenting is difficult and all moms do go through a lot of the same stuff, but it’s hurtful when you imply that moms whose babies are “difficult” are just complainers or wimps. That they are exaggerating or lying or just can’t handle the normal trials and troubles of life with baby. I am sure that little G has his rough days, but for a “difficult” baby, every day is a rough day. Every single day. Imagine G at his worst, when he is screaming because he is teething, and when you just can’t get him to sleep, and then multiply that to every single day and night for 7 solid months. That’s what it’s like to live with a difficult baby.

  2. Becks,

    a. I’ve been in a very judgmental place lately. Even though I didn’t want it to, that definitely came out harsher than I heard it in my head.

    b. I remember reading your blog at that time in James’ life. It sounded like HELL. Actually made me scared to have kids! I don’t hear about many who had as rough of a time of it as you guys did. Kudos for not packing up and heading to the Bahamas for a personal retreat!

    c. I don’t know if you understood the gist behind my post. I wasn’t trying to trying to say that moms who have tough babies are “making it up” and are wimps. I was trying to address the lonely self-pitying place that I often turn to, thinking I’m the only one. I hear it all the time from others.

    d. I think it’s equally as hurtful to assume that I’ve had an easy time, or that G’s been an easy baby. It makes it seem like my positive response is ONLY because he’s been good. That’s definitely not the case. While he didn’t have reflux or colic, he’s had rough times/weeks. Case in point, I had to come home early tonight because G had been screaming non-stop for hours and Jesse didn’t know what to do. That being said, I’m not exactly sure what an “easy” baby looks like– a myth, perhaps? There just seem to varying degrees of “hard”. I don’t think that you were a wimp for responding how you did– G’s few hours of screaming is enough to drive me over the edge!

    Additionally, it’s hurtful to assume that getting pregnant “whenever I want” has ever been an option. I just haven’t been public about how long it took us to conceive G. I actually spent Christmas Day, 2009, crying because someone had given me a baby gift for Christmas, not knowing that we’d been trying for months without success.

    I’d like to respond with some other thoughts I have about all this, but I’d prefer to make it a separate post, seeing as they are thoughts I’ve been working on for a while. Sound okay?

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