I had the most vivid dream last night. In it, I was feeling Gregory’s feet and hands punch through my stomach, as is his usual activity for 75% of the day, and all of a sudden, without explanation (as is common in dreams, where odd things happen without reason), I was holding him, playing with his hands, tickling his feet and smelling his baby hair. Yes, this dream actually had smells in it, it was so weird.
Actually, the weirdest part came afterwards, when I realized that here he was, in my arms, and labor had not occurred yet. I kinda freaked out, especially since I could definitely feel that I was still pregnant– not mushy, after-birth-stomach, but hard as a rock maternity stomach (I have joked to Jesse that my abs will never be this hard again!).
My entire family was all there in our apartment. My dad was cleaning the kitchen, my mom was sitting at the table. And so was Courtney. I ran over to her and asked, “What should I do? Should I put him back in? Will the midwife be mad at me?”
She said no, the midwives are always happy when birth can occur this way (what the heck, seriously, see how weird this is?), but that everyone was going to have to sit on my stomach to get the placenta out, seeing as there were no contractions to do this for me.
And then, I woke up, and realized that my stomach was still hard because I am, still, in fact pregnant. I couldn’t help but cry, because I am so ready to be done with this.
But besides being creepy, this dream helped remind me of the real reason I want it all to be over. It’s not just that I hate what this 3rd Trimester is doing to me, although every day a new infirmity adds itself to the list. I now can no longer write because my hands hurt. I can’t walk because the arches in my feet hurt whenever I’m not wearing shoes. And that’s if my sciatic nerve on each side doesn’t render each leg completely useless. And then there’s the yucky heartburn. And the peeing every hour. Yes, I will stop complaining now:)
No, it’s that I can’t wait to be Gregory’s mom. I want to meet him, I want to watch him grow up. It’s like missing someone terribly and you just can’t wait for them to finally get there.
I think this particular dream was brought about because I spent all day yesterday doing more baby laundry, organizing every drawer, getting it all ready. Every time I pulled up an outfit, I imagined him in it, imagined us holding him in it, or imagined us taking him somewhere in it. And then, as I was explaining to Jesse that the “final touch” to the baby room had to wait until he was born, seeing as I want to take his hand and foot print and frame them, Jesse said, “Kelly, you have to make that happen sooner. Come on, get creative and think outside the box!”
So, I guess this was my subconscious mind “thinking outside the box”…..