My body is now constantly reminding me that Gregory’s arrival is drawing near.
Sunday was rough already because it was a loooong, hotttttt day. Singing in the choir is also becoming quite the athletic endeavor, seeing as my diaphragm is now smaller than a pancake. We went to church on Saturday night, where I sang for 1.5 hours, then church on Sunday where I sang for another 2 hours, and then a wedding Sunday afternoon where I sang for another 1.5 hours. We were planning on attending the fancy shmancy Hilton reception afterwards, especially since it was down the road in Southlake, but I was too tired to cope. And cranky, mostly because I had to stand the entire wedding (which ran long because the bride was 20 minutes late. Which means we sang prelude music for an extra 20 minutes!). Usually, I can bring a chair up into the choir, but (not to complain), we did not split up the choir into antiphonal sides for the wedding. There was only room for 3 chairs, and older, feebler members of the choir had first dibs. God was gracious though– at the one point where it got REALLY HOT in there and I felt like I was going to pass out from standing so long (plus, I’d already had one or two Braxton Hicks contractions!), one of the ladies offered me her chair for a while. It was just what I needed…wouldn’t want Gregory coming THIS early!
I also realized that my hips are beginning to expand. I did not acquire this information visually, because it’s too slight to notice in that way. No, I feel it. All day yesterday, I felt like someone had taken a baseball bat to each hip bone. It kind of feels like when I used to play volleyball, and we would run diving/rolling drills for a few hours on the hard wood gym floor. As Jesse was performing our nightly routine of prenatal massages, some of them became EXCRUCIATING. If he accidentally pressed on a certain bone, it would send shock waves of pain everywhere.
This is also putting pressure, once again, on my sciatic nerve in the left leg. I was walking in to the bathroom to talk to Jesse while he was brushing his teeth, and all of a sudden, “OW OW OW OW” and I couldn’t move my leg. Like it was disconnected from voluntary action and had decided its ONLY function was to cause mind numbing pain. This has been disheartening, because that nerve hasn’t bothered me for weeks. I hope that this is just a growth spurt, and that once things get bigger to accommodate Gregory, my body can calm down again.
You might laugh as I try to explain this next part, but I really hope that my hips stay expanded, when all of this is said and done. Everyone has certain things they wish they could change about their body– one of the things I’ve always wished for is bigger hips. I know, right? But I just happen to think that there is something so beautiful about having big hips and a small waist. Big hips AND a big waist, not so much. But I believe that hourglass figures were coveted and mimicked for centuries in our culture for a REASON.
But, while usually not large, both my hips and my waist have always been close to, if not the same size. Sometimes, magazines group women into 4 major body type categories– pear, apple, rectangle, square. I am definitely the rectangle. It’s the way I was created, and I’ve learned that there is nothing I can do to change it. I really mean that– there is nothing I can do! If I try to lose weight, not only does my body not let me, but any slight pound or two will be evenly taken off from everywhere, instead of one certain place. As I was telling Chelsea in January, I tried an experiment last fall. I ate super healthy an entire month. Kept a food journal, exercised 5 times a week, limited dessert, everything. After a whole month? Same weight, give or take a tenth of a pound. The next month, I threw all caution to the wind. I ate McDonalds a few times a week (hey! It was Finals!), binged on Thanksgiving leftovers, ate icecream every night, worked out maybe twice the ENTIRE month. And I was the same exact weight, at the end of it.
So, while some women are here cautioning me that “some of my pants may no longer fit after pregnancy” because of hip expansion, I have been secretly rejoicing. Perhaps, finally, I will have bigger hips.
Hey, pregnancy already does such a number on one’s vanity (probably for the better!) that it’s good to rejoice in the little things. Even if they’re becoming bigger things 🙂