Personal Space

As I gaze retrospectively over the 12 days I spent with my family, I did a bit of self-evaluating (okay, who am I kidding, I self-evaluate all the time…). I thought over each of the times where I “lost it” and gave in to the pregnancy hormones– you know, the ones that make others around give you a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, all the while thinking to themselves, “she’s c-c-crazier than wool socks in July!!”

This is going to sound ridiculously simple, or ridiculously particular, depending on your viewpoint, but I think I boiled down 98% of the cause. I’ve always been pretty picky about my personal space, but having a baby inside who will not stop moving (it’s odd if I go an hour in between bladder hockey matches) has really made my patience for any “outside interference” very thin. The plane ride to CA was miserable, because I was either in the aisle seat, trying to fall asleep while getting bumped by the stewardess every minute, or I was shoved next to the window with a fat guy eating smelly sandwiches. I arrived to Burbank crankier and needier than I should have.

One of the things I got really annoyed with Janelle for? Giving my shoes “flat tires” and walking too close to me (which, I think with chagrin, was probably because she missed me! What a bad sister!). The other thing I got annoyed with her for? Throwing her hand into my face while she was sleeping (we had to share a bed). I even set up a pillow as a dividing line, and made sure she didn’t cross it!

I wanted boxing gloves while shopping at a very crowded Costco with my mom. As a result, I was irritable for hours. Then, I made sure that Ellen and Julie knew that if they slept on “my bed” while we were all gone in San Francisco, they should tell me so I could change the sheets. I wasn’t extremely tired and irritable at the wedding until drunk people started stumbling into me and I felt like a sippy cup that was definitely going to tip over and not get up again. Crying/Meltdown #2 followed shortly thereafter.

And then I became very irritable when a junior higher sat next to me on the plane ride home and could not sit without spreading his knees and elbows as far away from his own seat as possible. He also was not wearing deodorant, I’m pretty sure. I spent the whole 2 hours mentally “reclaiming” my space, occasionally putting my elbows down at my side so that he could see, yes, he did NOT pay for two seats, and would be required to keep his elbows on his armrests (and WHO was the junior higher again?).

I’m afraid that even though I am aware of this “irritability trigger” in me, awareness is not enough. I hope it doesn’t get even worse as the baby starts gaining a pound a week over the next couple months!

One thought on “Personal Space

  1. I totally identify 🙂 I’m sorry to say, it only gets worse when you deliver. Suddenly there are a LOT of people all up in your business. I have never felt so much like a “body” and less like a “person” than when I did that!

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